各位高手，因为我想去国外读研究生，需要我本科阶段老师们的推荐信，中国老师蛮好说话，有个老外我觉得他的推荐信可能更有分量，听说找他写推荐信要写信给他，我想让大家看看，有没有需要改的地方，比如措辞啊，语气之类的，真的很急，谢谢了！

我是很真诚的，希望各位能帮我仔细看看，帮我修改修改，谢谢！

Dear Professor Hoffman，
I am sorry to trouble you in the vacation. My name is Wang Bing and my major is International Business Economics. I am a senior student, and I am preparing to apply for graduate students. Last semester, you taught me Economics of Pricing and Decision Making, and I love this lesson very much, especially knowledge related about game theory. As a result, I want to continue to study the Economics at the graduate level. And, the following are schools that I will apply for: London School of Economics and Political Science (MSc Economics), University Collegge London (MSc Economics), Imperial College (MSc finance) and Bath University(MSc finance and accounting) and I plan to send relative material at the end of September. Could you help me to write a recommendation? This may provide you so much trouble, but it is so, so important for me. If you agree to help me, I would see you with my PS and transcript or send them to you by email when you have time. I sincerely apologize for bothering your vacation.

Thank you for your attention and looking forward to your reply.

Best Wishes,

和外国人讲话要开门见山，你开头说很抱歉在假期里打扰了他，紧接着要告诉他为什么打扰，第一句后面可以接But I really need you help.感觉语气平淡就往里面加形容词，什么紧急的呀，严重的呀。把my name 那句改掉，直接告诉他I'm your student Wang Bing major in International Business Economics.把“上学期您教我。。。。。。所以我决定毕业后继续深造”那一段放弃掉吧，说太多恭维话对外国人没用的，可以跟他说“记得上学期您给我们上XX课的时候曾经提到过。。。。。。”提到过什么可以随便说，或者是提到过那所大学的这个专业顶尖，或者是提到过继续深造的必要性，随便说，他不会记得自己到底说过没有。然后你可以说经你个人深思熟虑觉得继续学习是很有必要的，也选择了几所大学作为参考，希望教授可以给些意见，并帮忙写推荐信。This may provide you so much trouble, but it is so, so important for me. 这句也去掉吧，你都说了会给人家带来大的麻烦，那人家还帮你干什么？这里可以再重复一遍，你很需要他的帮助。I really need your help and hope you can give me a hand.然后询问他什么时候有时间，方便的时候回个电邮，你会在那个时候把相关资料回寄给他。I wander if那句还是去掉比较好。对打扰他的假期感到很抱歉那句可以独立成一段，这样看起来醒目一些，也真诚一些。

希望可以帮到你，祝顺利！